You don't know what you've got...

Until it's gone...
I miss my TW and Reese B. I didn't think it was going to be this emotional and this tough on me, but it has struck me hard. I think that most of it has to do with how Thom reacted when he was getting ready to take me to the airport. I've never been loved (by anyone other than my parents) like this. To see him sad, and to see him cry because I was going off to a new place, that hit me hard. I cried most of the flight on the way over here to Sweden, and I catch myself thinking about him and tearing up once again. I have 61 more days until he gets here...we can make it.

The first day here (yesterday), Oscar picked me up at the airport - Oscar is my coach for team "AIK" - or as pronounced in Swedish - ah-ee-koh. My sticks did not make the same trip as me, rather they were sent to Copenhagen before arriving in Stockholm. I don't know why that is, but I have had them located and I hope that they arrive today. My phone did not work when I got here - so that was frustrating, but Oscar lent me a phone that he had that was extra so that he might get a hold of me if needed. I am dropped off at the house, unpack a little - the room I was showed to is about the size of the entry way that Thom and I have at the townhome, but it had a bed in it and that looked really nice at that point! So I layed down for a bit - until about 3:00 in the afternoon. I forced myself to get up and went to sit on the couch and read in the living room. That lasted about a half hour before I realized that my eyelids were heavy and I dozed off again until about 5:00. Oscar was on his way to pick me up for the team meeting and dinner at that point, so I started to get ready. The strategy session was interesting with everyone around me speaking in Swedish, but some taking the opportunity to practice their English. Anna - aka "Micro" - was kind enough to be my interpreter for the night. We skated at 10:00 PM on a hockey rink last night - that was great to get out there and test my abilities. My shot sucks! Ok, I already knew that and that's part of the reason I came here. My legs felt a little tired and tight, but I'm sure that's because of the trip here.

I had tried to get online earlier in the day to let my admin. back at work know that my phone was not working - but that was not successful, so when I got back at 11:00 last night, I was able to email her a little bit finally and let her know what was happening. Luckily for me, she was still working (bless her heart) at 5;00 on a Friday evening, and within a couple of hours, we had the whole thing resolved. I have not made a phone call on it yet, but I know who I'm calling when I do - it will be so good to hear his voice. So, I was up until about 3:00 AM with all of that, and finally fell asleep. I only slept for a couple of hours until 6:00 AM - was awake for 30 minutes, then fell asleep until 10:00 AM. Awake for about an hour, then fell asleep until 3:00 PM when I forced myself to get out of bed. I figured if I kept it up, I wouldn't be sleeping tonight. What is interesting is that 3:00 PM here is 8:00 AM at home - I probably would have been forcing myself out of bed at 8:00 AM at home too! I figure that if I can sleep through the night tonight, then I could be on schedule again.

I'm sitting here waiting for my coach to pick me up so I can move to the other coach's house for a few days while we still hunt for an apartment for me. I think it will be nice to live with someone who can help me learn my way around the public transit system a bit and help me figure out where I'm going when. I feel a bit helpless at this point - I haven't been able to grocery shop or anything like that, so I'm kind of glad that I've been so tired that I've slept through most meals. I haven't eaten since our team dinner - that's one time in 2 days.

We have a team practice on Sunday morning - tomorrow. I guess we will do an hour of interval running and then we have a team lunch. After lunch, we will go to the gym and do some lifting. They do this all summer long. Definitely something that Team USA will need to think about if we want to compete at the level these gals are.

Yep, you don't know what you've got until it's gone - someone who really cares and loves me and who I love to spend all of my time with. The cute puppy who just wants to lick my face every time she sees me. The ability to know where you are going effortlessly. The ability to participate in conversations and understand why everyone is laughing, but you are not because you don't get what was just said. The ability to wake up and have a diet coke at hand because you haven't been grocery shopping. The ability to pick up the phone and just call home because your SIM card was never recognized.

So many "little" things are so big.

The biggest is the sadness of missing my best friend.

Love you TW.